War Between Pets

A war has erupted between Squiby (my cat) and Snowy (Joshie's dog).

It started since Wednesday, after Joshie's mom sent Snowy for a Brazilian wax job at the pet shop. Umm, it looks like a Brazilian wax to me cos from a fluffy white Maltese, Snowy returned home looked miserably fur-less and skinny. Please refer to photo if you are unable to imagine how a fur-less Maltese will look like.


Well, I don't mean to say that one would feel miserable after getting a Brazilian wax. On the contrary, I think the Brazilian wax is a very shiok (means extremely good) experience. If you are feeling awfully sleepy prior to a highly important meeting, I recommend that you go for a Brazilian wax. You will feel most revitalised and buzzed. PLUS, sex will be very much better after that.

OK, so... Squiby would lie waiting in a corner, then pounce viciously upon poor, unwitting Snowy. She would claw angrily at him, while the wretched dog winces and barks in defence.

While Snowy is often violent on my toes, ankles and the occasional odd bra lying on the heap of dirty laundry, his unreasonable wrath is nothing compared to Squiby's current fury.

Ah well, Squiby is a female after all. And males will hardly win a fight with a woman with long sharp nails, eh?

Now, such behaviour is strange. Squiby has grown accustomed to Snowy's presence since I took her home to stay in March. They would not play together, but would at least treat each other with some ounce of respect. Occasionally, they would sniff each other's ass to make sure the other did practise proper toilet hygiene. But seldom would they hiss/growl or attack each other.

To explain the sudden change in Squiby's shabby treatment of Snowy, Joshie's mom said that Squiby did not recognise Snowy after his "hair-cut" and regarded him with caution. Unfortunately for poor Snowy, his regular butt-check was no longer welcomed. He received claws to his eyeballs.

What rubbish. My cat is very smart. She won't do something like that. Of course she recognises Snowy!

There could only be one real reason for Squiby's sudden acts of violence.

Squiby is punishing Snowy for his utter lack of style and good taste. What kind of dog with a good mind and self-respect would allow his fur to be all shaved off in such a horrendous manner?!

By golly, he looks like a Sphinx cat now.

To show Snowy that his horrid "hair-cut" should never ever be repeated, she rained scratched and jabs upon him.

I say, Squiby is so brave! Countless time have I encountered walking-fashion disasters like that woman who wore a BIG green panty under her white skirt, that woman who had the price label still stuck under her heels, that woman who wore stretchy gym clothes with HEELS, that man who had his pants pulled up all the way under his nipples, that obese woman who wore such a tight mini skirt that men would swear off sex for the rest of their lives after seeing her thighs, that teenage girl who had bent over to pick up her lighter and exposed the full glory of her butt-crack because her cheapo-looking jeans were too low-cut, that numerous number of women who were not natural-born beauties but went about town without make-up.

And the worst are women with moustache. I'm sure there are many hair removal solutions available to get rid of their horrid, horrid moustache! Or are they blind? Perhaps they need to grow that ugly carpet of fur into a lush patch of moustache before they'll notice.

And I have to resist the dreadful urge to strike 'em with a skull-cracking knuckle blow cos I'm just not ballsy enough!

So you see, Squiby is really doing Snowy a BIG favour by commanding him to "wake up his bloody fashion idea".

That's why Snowy is too ashamed to retaliate. That poor doggy.

It will take time for his straggly white fur to grow out.