It's now 1.30am and I'm awake while Joshie darling is fast asleep. I'm so bored my nipples could fall off but I just refuse to sleep. One, because I'm not tired. Two, because I'm on leave today and I insist on staying up as late as I can since I don't have to wake up early.
And being me, there are only a few things I would do when I'm dead bored and wide awake in the middle of the night. One, I seduce Joshie and make him bang me till the cows come home. Two, I let odd thoughts ricochet inside my skull.
Alas, Joshie is asleep.
So for the past few hours I've been trying to keep myself occupied by reading other people's blog. Yet strange thoughts still managed to creep inside my head. I've been dreaming up scary stuff that could happen to me and I'll be absolutely helpless/embarrassed in those situations.
Here's the list:
1) What if I'm in the lift with a bunch of silent gloomy strangers when I suddenly feel an immense urge to laugh out loud. Perhaps that urge was triggered by no particular reason whatsoever. What if I ended up making embarrassing choking sounds as I try to force the laughter inside. Will it be better that I just laugh heartily? But everyone would think I'm nuts.
2) What if I noticed a big, stretchy boogie dangling out of my boss' nostrils when he's giving me a stern lecture. I know I'll laugh out in my trademark howling manner. But I can't. Again, what if I ended up making embarrassing choking sounds as I try to force the laughter inside?
3) Or worse, what if I had a big, stretchy boogie dangling out of my nostrils when I'm talking to my boss or someone I wanted to impress... and I didn't know it?!
4) What if I had erroneously sent an absolutely X-rated (and it can be VERY X-rated indeed since I'm Dearest Erotica Yue) text message to my boss or someone I wanted to impress when it was meant for Joshie darling?
5) Or what if it was my boss who had sent me a very X-rated text message by mistake?
6) What if g-strings suddenly go out of fashion, and every shop stopped selling them? And what if at the same time big skin-coloured mama panties are deemed hip? By the way, why is it called "skin-coloured"? Whose skin?? It is definitely not MY skin colour!
7) What if I'm suddenly nervous/anxious and started biting my finger nails (a nasty habit when I'm stressed)... then realised to my utter horror that I have not washed THOSE fingers after digging my nose earlier. And worse, what if someone have been watching me dig my nose, then eat those nails?
8) What if I saw a girl exposing an immense expanse of butt-crack right in front of me and I absent-mindedly swiped my credit card down her butt-crack?
9) What if I'm laughing heartily with a friend in a crowded public place, say a bus stop in Orchard Road, when a gust of wind blows a leaf into my mouth, and the scene is witnessed by everyone?
10) What if I'm frightfully attracted to the shiny bald head of the man in front of me and have an incredible urge to whack it with my knuckles? What if I actually do so?
Actually three of the above have happened before. Wanna guess which?
7 blistering yaks:
hahaha..well said, is it numbers 4, 7 and 9 that had happened to you before? ;)
Nice try but only two right.
Try again! :)
could be no. 1?
thought number 8 sounds so familiar. One of my friend is toking to her friend when a bird shitted on her face. lol.
I shall not spoil the moment so soon... Maybe a few more guesses from others before I unveil the answers. :D
It does seem quite scary if your listed events really happens. Could it be 1, 2 and 7?
But I must agree that some shiny bald heads are attractive! :) I always feel like rubbing it when I see one. Esp if the head belongs to a good-looker!
What if the strap of a girl in spaghetti strap top with a huge pair of racks came apart and the racks just hangs right in front of you?
well, nose bleed for me! hahaha
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