Hallo Berlin!

I took my first trip to Berlin last week. Before I flew off, mummy and daddy took me to dinner at Tung Lok Seafood Gallery and made me down a bowl of Buddha Jump Over The Wall - an insanely indulgent and expensive Chinese herbal soup that comes with abalone, sea cucumber, chicken, and I don't know what else - to ensure that I would be able to keep warm in Berlin. Erm, but isn't that the job of my overcoat, gloves and scarf?

Resistance was futile, so I drank the soup but left the good stuff for Kenny - heh.


Super Long Flight
While I was excited about this virginal trip to Deutschland, I learnt that the journey is pure torture.

It took me about 13 hours to get from Singapore to Paris Charles De Gaulle where I spent a brief one hour transit. That 13 hours almost murdered my back and knees.

Bloody hell. For all those flights I have taken to Asian cities, my seats offered sufficient leg room and I could stretch those legs. Ironically, for this long hual trip, my seats was frightfully cramped! While seated upright, my knees touched the back of the seat in front. I could hardly stretch my poor legs. Damn Economy Class!

Every time I woke from my slumber, my spine and knees would ache like they were on fire. And since I was flying through the night, I was naturally exhausted. I was too sleepy to take regular walks up and down the aisle and stretches to aid blood circulation. I was so worried that the dreadful Economy Class Syndrome would set in!

I managed to spend the last three hours hanging around the self-service area on the plane, doing occasional half-squats while helping myself to all those Cookies N Cream Haagen Dazs ice-cream bars. Hehe.


For my short flight from Paris Charles De Gaulle to Berlin Tegel, I was given a window seat next to a gwailo (Cantonese slang for a Caucasian) who stank to the high heavens. I made an observation during my flight - most gwailos smell funny.

Please note that I wrote "most" as opposed to "all". Charming Howard Elsey smells most beautiful, but nothing more shall be said of him here. He shall remain in one of the best parts of my memory. :)

Now back to that smelly gwailo who sat next to me. I had my overcoat placed over my face to prevent myself from inhaling his poisonous fumes. Did the bugger even bath?! Later on, when he stood up to get out of his seat, the back of his pants dipped and I noticed that he was wearing his briefs inside-out! Sheesh... was he recycling his underwear? Maybe that was the source of the stench!

And I kept sensing that he was trying to strike a conversation with me. So I stuck my head against the window pane and watched the cottony white clouds.

And I took these pretty birds' eye-view shots are we neared Berlin!





They reminded me of Lego blocks! Actually, I would always request for aisle seats on all my flights as I wanted comfort and ease of movement. I'm the sort who would rather hold my pee till my bladder split than to wake the poor fella seated near the aisle and ask him/her to let me pass. So getting a window seat for a brief flight is alright and make for a refreshing change.




I touched down, with a mop of static-charged hair and awful skin, at Berlin Tegel at 9am Berlin time (3pm in Singapore, I believe). So I was darned thankful for my cheerful red specs that lent some colour to my pasty face.


A Spartan Accomodation

Our driver, Rudiger, whisked us off very quickly to our hotel down Sommeringstrß (pronounced Zommering-stra-zer). Hotel Econtel was a very small outfit. It excited me with its hip lime-green exterior but it was an anti-climax when I entered. Let's just say that it provided really basic amenities.

Hotel Econtel was not the usual type of hotel my company would put us up in. We have been spoilt on several occasions. I do understand that the hotels in Berlin are freakin' expensive during peak season and this was one of the more affordable ones within proximity of the exhibition halls. So I let it slide.

My room was not ready when I checked-in, so I dumped my stuff in Patrick's room and took a bath. I need my clean hair!

Then we watched a bit of TV while waiting for the rest of the Editorial team is get ready to go for lunch and then to the show site. And goodness, morning TV in Berlin sure is entertaining!



This couple stripped down to what they are wearing (as shown above) and played tug-of-war. The man wore a leapard print g-string that cups his balls loosely, so they jiggled while he was in action. Darn funny! Needless to say, the giant of a woman won.

And there was another program in which a bunch of beefy men took turns to perform a strip-dance for a lone woman. They would all strip down to their g-strings. One man had very fleshy bums and took pleasure in jiggling them non-stop. Woo! For that moment, I thought of Joshie darling's perky bottoms. Frankly, I don't know what was the purpose of these men as the show was in German. But who cares!

Anyway, Hotel Econtel fucked up on my room arrangements. My room was only ready at around 5pm.

First, I was given a room on the 5th storey. I lugged my heavy-ass trolley (which belonged to my printers, but I won't start on why it was with me - bloody long tale) down a looooong corridor from the elevator to my allocated room. To my disappointment, my room was at the FAR end of the corridor, next to the fire exit. It was dim and quiet. I would not feel safe coming back late! And the freakin' lock was jammed. So I carried the bloody trolley back down and demanded for another room not that close to the fire exit.

Then I was given a room on the 4th storey, eight rooms away from the fire exit. Still, it was not a short distance from the elevator lobby, but there were no other rooms available. Again, I struggled down the corridor with the trolley. Again, the lock was faulty. I jimmied the keys and banged the door with my shoulders like I was trying to break the door down. When it finally opened, I realised that someone's luggage was in there!

For the third time - and thoroughly pissed - I went back down and told the Front Desk bluntly to make no more mistakes. The lady apologised profusely and explained that my room was supposed to be on the opposite side! Holly shit... what sort of security does the hotel offers if they could give residents someone else's key!

When I settled in my room, I realised that there was no water flask. At my request, the housekeeping sent one to my room. And it was all mouldy inside. Gah!

At least the bathroom and bedsheets were clean and the bed was comfy.


Streets of Berlin
When the ladies are finally ready to go, we gathered for a group shot! Then we took a long but super relaxing walk down Sommeringstrß to a look for food.



It was probably 13 degrees Celcius that day and I, being a tropical babe, was shivering under my overcoat despite the invigorating walk. But the serenity of the streets on a weekday distracted me from the chill.





Actually, I enjoyed every car ride around Berlin! The houses are cute and few were built beyond four storeys. They were even prettier at dusk, as the sun sets. These houses would glow with yellow lights through their windows and sheer curtains, and one would imagine that in these houses lived happy, perfect families.









Because this was winter in Berlin, there were bald trees lining every street and they exude a somewhat romantic feel.


Fun Tales From The Trade Show




Characters like these two flanking me, are common sightings on show grounds as exhibitors vie for trade buyers' attention with all sorts of marketing gimmicks.

While I was not busy attending to clients and queries, I was finding amusement in fending off two admirers.

Mr Himalaya, a short stout man with a lush moustache approached me on the third day of the show, and said, "Did you see my photo in your newspapers today? I am famous, heh heh! So are you married?"

And he refused to believe that I am married. He queried my husband's name and job, date of marriage and why I am not wearing a wedding ring. Finally, he ended the awkward chat with, "I think Chinese girls must all be very lovely, like you. If you are not married, I want to marry you." Erm, no thanks!

Mr Switzerland, a tall pale man with blonde hair, showed his affections by sending me a gigantic pretzel on the second day. "I noticed that you were eating this yesterday, so I bought this for you. The lunch queue is very long and I don't want you to go hungry." Aww...

But actually, I don't like the pretzels there - too hard and salty. A client had given the pretzel to my MD on the first day, and he in turn, gave it to me cos he did not want to eat that. To avoid wastage, I ate the pretzel. And then, I had to eat Mr Switzerland's pretzel too.

On the last day, Mr Switzerland came and told me that he is heading to Switzerland to visit his parents, and asked if I needed to return to Singapore immediately. He invited me to join him on the trip. I thought he was joking and asked, "Are you going to pay for my air tickets, accomodation, F&B and shopping?" In a serious tone, he said, "Of course."

Freaky! Manna and Kat thought it was funny. They felt that at least he demonstrated sincerity in bringing me lunch and offering to take me to meet his parents. No thanks either!

Then yesterday, Mr Switzerland sent me an email saying, "I miss you sooooo much!" apart from other mushy stuff. Truly gross. I had better keep my distance at the next trade show.


Dining in Berlin
Although I will be featuring the restaurants I had patronised during my stay in Berlin, I must admit that I was hardly gastronomically excited. The only lovely food I had was at Ratskeller and the Braised Beef Penne Air France served for lunch on board my Paris-Singapore flight.

Ratskeller Charlottenburg
On the day of arrival, we settled at for lunch at Ratskeller, a quaint German restaurant set within an ancient looking castle, located on Richard-Wagner-Platz.







A castle exterior, oldish interior and a menu that resembled a page from Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale book makes Ratskeller stand out from all the restaurants I went to in Berlin.






I had a Potato Stew and Knacker. My Potato Stew was chockful of ingredients but bland, and it tasted like the potato soup Joshie's mum often cook. However, my editor's beef stew was orgasmic!

My knacker was also too dry and salty - Werner's Oven in Singapore serves much better knackers! Again, my editor's pork Schnitzel was heavenly! I kicked myself for ordering the lousy stuff!

Schnitzel is a traditional Austrian dish which is widely served in Germany. It is a lean meat cutlet, pounded heavily with a mallet for tenderness, coated with eggs and breadcrumbs then fried till it turns deliciously gold. Ratskeller served their Schnitzel drenched in creamy mushroom sauce and perfectly fried french fries. Ooh yummy! Sheesh, talking about it makes me hungry now!

But I did not take a photo of her Schnitzel cos I was too shy to interrupt. She was already kind enough to give me a generous slice of her Schnitzel! But trust me, it looked as nice as it tasted.


Mao Thai



Despite the hearty lunch at Ratskeller, we had a company dinner at Mao Thai, a cosy Thai restuarant. And boy, was it quite a feast! But I could hardly eat with part of the lunch still in my tummy.





However I did have a nice serving of scalding, spicy Tom Yam soup to keep my tropical blood warm! The cold was really getting on my nerves, although it was considered a warm winter by the locals.

Dante Restaurant and Pizzaria
On the second night, Irene wanted to take us to a popular Italian place called Sirocco. She gushed that it serves the best Italian food in Berlin and tables are hard to get. As expected, we are unable to make a table reservation for dinner, and settled for Italian at Dante, a small restuarant within walking distance from our hotel.





For some reasons, Dante's menu does not have English translations. We had some trouble understanding the menu, but a couple at the next table helped us through with the little bit of English they knew.

I had only wanted to know what is "beef" in German. It is called "rind", and I zoomed in on all dishes that has "rind" in its description. Smart, eh?



I ended up ordering my fave Capaccio - I could understand this word anywhere! Capaccio is an appetiser of raw beef sliced very thinly, topped with papers of cheese. Sometimes olive oil is used for taste, sometimes sour cream. I like them both ways!





I also had a seafood soup that was a tasty bisque, and a large serving of Salmone pasta. I decided against a steak cos it does not come cheap at 20 Euros (about S$40)!



Irene, Kat and Manna shared an antipasti apart from their own main course. I took none as I had ordered a lot! The next day, the girls told me that they spent the night vomitting and boobing Iraq in the toilet. The antipasti bore the blame.


Good Friends Chinese Restaurant
Since the girls spent the third day in Berlin with a weak appetite and stomach, we went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner after work. The girls wanted hot and light soup, unlike the creamy ones that western eateries often serve.

Gah. All the way to Berlin for Chinese food. And it was hardly delicious. You know that a Chinese restaurant in a gwailo world is bad when most of the diners are gwailos

Thus, no photos here.

But at least the Cantonese-speaking waiter was super patient and nice to us. Maybe he was happy to see fellow Asians. :)


Maredo
On the last night in Berlin, we headed out with some clients from Bali for a good round of beer and dinner.

After downing a couple of good Berliner Pilsner, we headed out into the rain in search of a late dinner. We settled for cheap and good steaks at Maredo! Maredo is pretty much like Sizzlers in Singapore.



When I say that it is cheap, this steak still costs 14 Euros (S$28). Sheesh. How can common-man Asians ever survive a trip to Europe?!

After dinner, we went to the Irish Bar at Europa Centre. It is said that the whole of Berlin, young and old, would gather at this Irish Bar every night for beers. Quite true - the place was packed with gothic youngsters, tired looking working people still in their office shirts and smiley old folks!

We managed to share a small table with a transvestite who happened to be from Singapore! She left Singapore a few years ago to come to Berlin to get married.


Hitting The Shops
According to my colleagues who have been to Berlin several times, they said there is only one place worth going for shopping. That's KaDeWe and the lines of malls that spans outwards.



KaDeWe is located in the city centre, which is also home to the ruins of the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church. It was destroyed by Allied bombing and is now preserved as a memorial. A tower is built next to it, which glows blue at night.

KaDeWe is a fashionista's playground. It is four levels of branded boutiques and fashion wear by big design houses like Hugo Boss and Versace. Heh, with that much temptation, I bought this:



On it fifth level, one could find a massive supermarket and a classy food hall where diners drank wine.

Endless lines of shelves filled the supermarket with Godiva and Lindt chocs, wine, cheese and more. There was even a Lindt choc fountain!

The food hall is a little like the one in Takashimaya where open concept kitchens whipped up different cuisine. The seafood kitchens proudly displayed seafood so fresh, it doesn't smell! There were also kitchens specialising in Chinese cuisine, meats, sausages and degustation.


We chose to eat at the degustation counter as it was the most affordable of the lot. As every dish was in German, I had to study the ingredients to make sure I don't order something I would not eat. Some looked very appetising, while others were like slime.

To order degustation, you pick what you want to eat from a dizzy array of salads to meat dishes and tell the staff. The staff will scoop the items onto a plate until you tell her to stop. She'll weigh it and you pay according to the weight.



I chose a potato salad with mayo dressing, prawn salad and rind! Throw in a bottle of Coke and my bill totalled at 14.70 Euros. Hell! And this was possibly the cheapest meal around there.



Manna bought half a chilled lobster for almost 20 Euros and she could still look so happy!

After lunch, we headed to the top floor which is a rooftop covered with a glass dome. One can indulge in a wide variety of desserts or coffee. I couldn't resist and got this chocolate mousse for 4.50 Euros.



With my flight back home at 6.55pm, I polished off my sweet treat and cappacino quickly, grabbed a cab back to the hotel to pack my shopping into my luggage, and zoom off to Tegel.

So on 10 March, I left Berlin with a lighter wallet and hardly any experience of Berlin's historical sights. I wished I had the resources to extend my trip and go see the war sites, Jewish camps and the Berlin Wall.


A Retrospective Proposal
Although wedding preps are near completion, Joshie baby kept his promise to offer me a proper marriage proposal.

He came to pick me up at the airport as usual. When he popped the boot for me to load my luggage, I saw this:



While this was no Van Gogh masterpiece, I thought it was awfully sweet of him. He had only just checked out of his week-long in-camp reservist training, and he still found time to buy the craft materials and sat down to do it up! Utterly sweet!! Needless to say, I wept buckets on his shoulder.


And I completed the artwork by inking my signature. This shall be framed and hung in our room as a reminder of Joshie's rare display of romance. :)