Shanghai Again

Once again, I managed to survive the city of crazy pedastrians, crazier drivers, utterly useless traffic lights, screaming men and women, flying spittle, and a whole lot of unshaven female armpits.

Yes, Soo Han was absolutely right to say that sweet Sherry was one of the few Chinarian girls we knew who had nice bald armpits.

I could still not understand how Shanghai could still be hailed as Paris of the East. The glory days of glamour was long gone. Shanghai is now like any other cities, except that their people were still behaving like bores.

I know I'm Chinese too. But I am a Singaporean Chinese and am damned proud that I do not need to dodge flying spittles when I am strolling down the streets, get my arse rubbed when I'm in the queue, or risk being nudged aside by an impatient car when I'm crossing legally at the traffic lights. Still, I still know a bunch of real cool young Chinarians who behave none like the sort in Shanghai, so there is still hope for the country.

Anyway, here is a rundown on what happened in my second trip to Shanghai.


Custom Queue Nightmare
Actually, I did not have to be in Shanghai to experience their exciting way of living. My first brush with them started right in the airport the day I had to take my flight to Shanghai.

This stoopid woman pushed through my queue and shoved people aside at the customs check-point located at the entrance to the holding lounge. She tried to barge past the customs officers and was stopped, obviously.

She shrieked that she had only left the lounge to go pee and should be allowed to enter without queuing all over again. The police refused for security reasons and insisted that she joined the queue to be checked.

Grudgingly, she head back down the row and tried to slip in between people who have been queuing for ages. When she got chased away, she went to join the shorter First Class queue. Hah. Then, she got directed back to the economy class queue by the officers when it was her turn. Dumbo.

So she tried to barge in again. The officer told her sternly in Mandarin, "If you go out ten times, you will have to queue ten times to re-enter, understand?"

God. What's wrong with her?


Big-ass Hotel
Our team was housed in the super-nice Sheraton Grand Tai Ping Yang. This is of one of the few really good hotels I've stayed in for my business trips. The bed was darned comfy, the room and bathroom was darned clean and spacious, and the hotel provided a darned good hair-dryer too.

However, based on Angie's experience, using two darned good hair-dryers at the same time would result in a black-out and something burnt.

These Sheraton people must be really intelligent. They probably know that guests (not me) like to take home something from the room, such as the glasses, towels, bathrobes, hangers, remote control, and perhaps the TV. So to quench the greedy, el cheapo monster inside every guests, they surprised us with daily gifts in our room.

Two rubber duckies greeted me when I checked-in.

Subsequently, there were clay figurines of teddy bears, a box of pralines and a stuffed teddy bear.


Award Ceremony Screw-up
I headed a research programme to chart the top ten tourism companies and organisations in China, and there was to be a certificate presentation ceremony during the Opening Ceremony of our trade event in Shanghai.

The project was doomed from the start - not my company's fault - as the research firm screwed upon the results and I was still frantically fighting fires one week before flying up to Shanghai.

And the bad luck sort of got brought over to the certificate presentation ceremony. Winners from every category swamped on stage at the same time, disregarding the order of their names being called. That led to a mix-up in the certifcates received.
It was my ultimate work nightmare.

I was furious at myself for not being able to rectify the situation immediately. I was furious at the emcee for ignoring my urgent instructions to skip announcing the full list of winners and just invite each winner on stage slowly. I was furious that my MD had insisted that hiring an experienced emcee to do the ceremony was not needed - see what happened.

Basically, I'm just furious at everything, yet I know I cannot blame the emcee cos she was probably damned nervous, or my boss' decision, cos this was ulitmately my project to manage and it is my responsibility to see that everything worked out proper. So at the end of the day, I am really just disappointed with myself for not being able to foresee Murphy's wretched plans for the night.

But being human, it was much easier to be angry with someone else. So I channeled my frustration at my boss. I refused to speak to him throughout the trade event. On the last day, he approached me and pat my back, asking gently and sounding like my father, "Are you OK?" I melted.

Then yesterday, I went to his office to discuss crisis-management plans for the mess-up. Mid-way, he told me to stop torturing myself by being disappointed with the mess-up, and reassured me that he was never angry with me despite the mistakes. I had to tell him to stop before I start to cry. Sheesh, I hate it when I turn to mush.

And sheesh again, he should have sorted me out when we were in Shanghai. My frustrations took away my motivation to join the girls every night for drinks.


Insufficient Gastronomic Adventures
I hardly got the chance to explore Shanghai for its dining pleasures in this trip. One main reason was that I hardly got the chance to see Kat and Irene much, and often they are the maîtres of gastronomic adventures.

Despite that, I did managed to experience some new eateries in Shanghai, but few were as good as my last trip. I feel sore for not being able to visit Faigo Steamboat again.

One good restaurant is Sincere Restaurant. Apparently, this restaurant is a popular chain and has many branches across Shanghai.

The one we went to is at Maxdo Plaza, located conveniently right across from my hotel. However, crossing the mad Shanghainese roads was a nightmare and a real challenge for our senses. The traffic lights were useless and cars have the right of way every freaking time.

Anyway, the food there was really good. I dined there twice while my editorial peeps ate there thrice! And since they have a very extensive menu, each meal was an all new surprise.

Here are some pictures:

I appreciated how fast the kitchen whipped up the dishes, and speed did not compromise the quality of taste and presentation.

The best of the lot was their succulent foie gras with crispy burnt edges. Yummy! And it costs only RMB$58 (S$13)!


It is really huge - almost the size of my palm. So you can imagine how much cholesterol I had ingested with that serving.


I also had lunch at the Le Meridien She Shan hotel while I was there on Sunday for the Opening Ceremony rehearsal. My verdict? Let's just say they tasted visually better.


My Creme of Mushroom was cold. Tess' spring chicken (2nd pix from the top) tasted like it was not even marinated. My pork mignon was pretty bland too and the wedges were the only saving grace. I think I taste better than any of the dishes.



One of the evenings, Wanjun, Tess and I hopped to Hooters for a beef steak sandwich, which came highly recommended by Peter. I usually have beer and chicken wings at the Singapore's Hooters, so I can't compare the steak sandwiches.

But I can definitely compare the Singaporean and Shanghainese Hooters' girls. The Shanghainese were hotter hoots! They were fleshier, as fair as porcelain, and their boobies were over-flowing. I'm sorry that even I can't take my eyes off their boobies. No wonder the old gwailos were behaving nuttily.



And yes, the cheesy beef steak sandwich was indeed fabulous. So were the boobies.


Another evening, I was too tired to join the bunch at a garden party at Millennium Hongqiao Hotel, so I called for Room Service for dinner. Boy, was I glad I did! Eating in the privacy of my own room is one of life's simple pleasures. I could use my hands and leave crumbs and oil stains on my cheeks without worrying that someone will laugh at the way I gobble my food.



My Grilled Ham and Cheese Sandwich was super duper delicious! I've never eaten such wonderful Grilled Ham and Cheese Sandwich. The Sheraton people managed to turn this humble quick-bite into a gastronomic orgasm for me. And the common French Onion Soup had a slice of really sinful cheesy crouton!


Plus, I had re-runs of My Lovely Sam-Soon as company for dinner. Perfecto!


Drinking Up On The Last Nite
Wanjun, Angie and I headed for Barbarossa at People's Square for some drinks on Wednesday night, before I fly home the next day. Coicidently, Kat and Manna were on the way there too with some clients, or rather, friends cos we have hung out with each other for quite a bit before.

I love Barbarossa for its Moroccan feel. It does look very beautiful being amidst the greenery of the gardens of People's Square, but my camera could not capture the beautiful surroundings in the night.

So with the power of my artistic ability, I give you the artist's impression of the surroundings of Barbarossa:

See how bright-eyes Angie and Wanjun look? You would never guess that they have been downing lethal Chinese wine before coming to Barbarossa. They refused to touch more alcohol, while I happily downed my wine with the rest.

Then about 1am, Kat suggested going to MUSE, the famed disco owned by Hong Kong actress Carina Lau. Angie and Wanjun wanted to wriggle out of the group cos they had big shopping plans the next morning.

But somehow, I managed to haul them into the taxi and we all joined everyone else at MUSE.


Manna, oh sweet Manna, did the right thing and popped a bottle of Moet finally!

Champagne is a happy, bubbly drink that people should have daily. If everyone starts off their work day with a flute of champagne, we will all be happy, loving people.

Unfortunately, I was pretty pooped after having five generous glasses of white wine at Barbarossa, and could not ingest anymore alcohol. What's wrong with me? Gone only after five glasses of wine?!

I remember heading off with Wanjun and Angie earlier than the rest, going up the hotel's lift and throwing up in the bathroom. I woke up the next morning stark naked in bed and no recollection of what happened after I threw up. Surprisingly, I managed to remove my lenses and all my make-up pretty well in my drunken stupor.


Peter's Farewell Surprise
Good old Peter is leaving the company at the conclusion of this trade event. He will be missed for his sharp humour and unexpected cussings. I love it when he cusses in dialect. He looks like a serene old gentleman who has all the patience in the world... then he throws up a "Kow peh lah" whenever some Chinarian man shouts next to his ears.

And since it was also his birthday, the exhibitions team decided to give him a surprise.

After the team dinner on Wednesday night, the girls gave some excuses to sneak off, leaving Samuel and me to walk Peter back to the hotel. We had to walk slowly to give the girls enough time to get the cake ready and hide in his suite.

When Peter opened his door and threw up the light switch, there were cries of "Happy Birthday!" and the girls popped up from every corner. It was quite hilarious to see them jumping from behind the curtains, behind the TV cabinet, sofas and other furniture.



Peter was so shocked, he had actually stumbled backward. He later joked that we could have given him a heart attack since he wasn't that young afterall.


Wendy is definitely drunk - she should be taking shots of Peter, but she's pointing her cam elsewhere. Come to think of it, most of them had drank too much Chinese wine during the wild team dinner, which I fortunately managed to skip - so it was amazing that they were still sane enough to execute the surprise.



Sadly, it won't just be Peter's last day. Julia's leaving too. And despite the short time I've interacted with them, I think they are both really splendid friends and colleagues.

Smelly Men and a Butt In My Face

On the flight back to Singapore, I was unfortunate to be seated between a caucasian man who smelt musky and sour, and an Aussie-sounding Chinese chap who has bad breath but loves to exhale loudly at regular intervals.

Then when the plane touched down, all the passengers stood up and tried to haul their luggage from the overhead compartments. Good grief, the plane has not even come to a stop!

And since everyone wanted to crowd onto the aisle, some standing passengers were pushed back into the seats. One guy moved too close back into what little space I have, and since I was still seated (yes, I'm an obedient passenger who will only leave my seat when it is safe to do so), he had his ass backed into my face.

That's not all, he looked back a few times and obviously knows I'm just sitting there, at the mercy of his ass. Yet he still jerked his haversack backwards repeatedly, almost knocking me unconscious several times.

Perhaps I was already pissed off with Mr Rotten Breath throughout the flight, and I lost my temper with the man who was pushing his ass into my face. I smack his bag and when he turned to look at me, I said, "I don't want to see your butt" in Mandarin. He apologised and stepped aside.

And the stupidest thing is, he actually did have enough space to step side in the first place! So why did he have to stick his butt into my face? Urgh!

It is situations like these that encourages me to work hard so that I can earn enough money to buy myself a private jet.


What I Bought
I just had to get this cute little tin of Hello Kitty candies. And boy, it ain't cheap. Almost S$10 for this silly tin of sweets. But heck, I just love the way it looks.

And to conclude this post, I shall also mention that I've lost my Lumix's leather case at MUSE and three finger nails. Dang. I have been resisting from biting my nails for the longest time so I could have nice nails on my Solemnisation Day. And they just have to break off two week before the big day.

I also gained 2kg. I hate cold weather - it makes me eat more.

Now, I got to go pack my bags for Dubai. Tata!