Eat, Drink; Hong Kong, Kunming

Here's the sad news: I could not make it for the Beyonce Experience @ Venetian concert in the end.

Our Kunming flight to Hong Kong on 3 November was just too late and we may run the risk of missing the start of the concert. Plus, the hotels in Macau took the chance to jack up their room rates with sexy Miss Beyonce in town. A 3-star hotel would cost us SGD$280! Madness.

Needless to say, staying at the spanking new Venetian Macao is out of the picture. My client could not give us a good rate due to the high traffic, so we would have to pay approximately SGD$1200 per night should we want to stay there.

The good news is, I spent 3 November combing the Hong Kong boutiques for clothes, stuffed my face with the famous Yong Kee roast goose, wanton noodoos and a shameless assortment of desserts, and experienced the sleazy side of Hong Kong as represented by the Filipino pick-up joints in Wan Chai.

Frankly, my trip to Hong Kong is very much a last minute decision. I was scheduled to fly to Kunming, China for a trade event on 31 October. But Kat pointed out that there was a Bierfest held at the Marco Polo Hong Kong Hotel on 30 October onwards, and I should experience it.

Hell yeah, so I did.

Anyway, my company is one of the sponsors for this annual Alcoholic Annoymous' paradise.

I arrived in Hong Kong on 31 October itself. We had a little time before the party started, so Kat and I went to get our authentic wanton noodles fix. Whooop!

Nobody does wanton noodles better that the Hongkongers. Hong Kong-made wanton noodles make Singaporean wanton noodles taste like puke. *sigh*

Of the few shops I've tried around Causeway Bay, I strongly recommend Ho Hung Kee Congee & Noodle Wantun Shop located at 2 Sharp Street East, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong. Look for Lee Theatre building and you'll see this quaint shop with a snaking queue at its doorstep.

Even its congee is fabulously smooth and tasty. Even better than Crystal Jade's congee.

Kat and I also tried out some fishballs (yu dan) from a street stall. I can't believe that Kat has never tried that although she lived in Hong Kong for five years!


These yu dans are common stuff in Hong Kong shows, and it somehow cheers me to finally taste them. But anti-climax lar... these yu dans are not tasty. They are hardly chewy and bland even with a dip.

After warming our tummies, we headed to Marco Polo Hong Kong Hotel for the Bierfest. Despite a heavy downpour and the party being held under a massive tent in the open, people thronged the event.

The biting cold wind and smell of cooking meat really got me drooling like a glutton. I devoured a salmon steak, lots of long, hard wieners, roast chicken and some German styled pig trotters. And over all these, I emptied mugs and mugs of beer.

So don't bother pointing out that my face looked rounder in my recent photos. I know it already.

The Bierfest was a blast. People in Hong Kong really knows how to party good. Everyone was game to dance on stage, on tables and chairs, and round and round in a funky daisy-chain!


Then suddenly, a few male German performers emerged on stage in black robes and surprised us with what they wore underneath...


... black metal pots. Many party-goers, both men and women, went right up to clank their beer mugs against the pots hanging off the men's wieners. Heh. Kinky. And oh my, clean shaven too.

When the Bierfest drew to an end at 11.30pm, the bunch of us headed to Lan Kwai Fong.

Kee Club was our first stop. Although it is an exclusive club that admits only members and their guests, I say it was a complete bore. The drinks were marked up too high despite having a bleh ambience. Doesn't help that the people who go there are largely a mix of celebs, models, richies and poseurs. So after cleaning up our wine, we headed to the rowdy bars of Lan Kwai Fong.

Being the eve of Halloween, most revellers were gamely dressed to scare and amaze. We decided to join in the fun and bought ourselves some devil's horns. Heh.


Insomnia was our choice for the night. The moment I stepped in, I was consumed by the live rock that was performed on stage. Rock is truly my game. Plus the lead singer was a man who somehow resembled Daniel Day-Lewis in The Last of the Mohicans... only shorter.

Then, as always, there will be stoopid men around. Now, I shall tell you tales of three men.

The Al Cheapo
While at the Bierfest, Manna and Kat chatted up a German dude who was average looking by my standards. Yet the girls thought he was far more dashing than RD. Anyway, to each his own. So this German dude was invited to join us at Lan Kwai Fong, which he did.

He shared a taxi with us. Since I sat up front, I paid for the ride. He, in the back seat, kept saying, "I'll get this. Let me pay." After he alighted, he stuck out a HKG$20 bill to me. Hello, the ride was more than HKG$80. He has been living in Hong Kong for five years, he should know the long ride could not have cost only HKG$20. I gave him the evil eye and told him to keep it.

Kat quickly suggested that he pay for our drinks in return. When he realised that we were going to Kee Club for drinks, his face turned. Haha. Al Cheapo.

The Beer Splattering Daddy-wannabe
The Al Cheapo German fella brought along his boss, a half balding Polish man in his early 50s. This balding grandfather is super irritating! He kept trying to dance next to me and kept coming next to my ear to chant like a broken record, "I'm in love with you." The worst thing is, the old fool would take a gulp of beer right before he chants, somehow not swallow completely and splatter some beer onto the side of my face. Eww. He must be slipping into facial paralysis due to overwhelming sexual excitement.

A while later, the Daniel Day-Lewis lookalike stepped off stage in the midst of a song to check out the tattoo on my back. Manna then started a conversation about the number of tattoos I have. When the old Polish dude saw the many tattoos I have, he said, "I like you, but I think you have too many tattoos for your own good."

WTF! I turned to him and replied, "I don't need your approval. And who are you anyway? You're not my dad." And the old bugger had the cheek to appear offended and stormed off. Heck, good riddance!

The Persistent Brit
For a moment, I was darned relief to have a young chap making passes at me instead of the usual middle-aged frumps. Then I realised that young boys are so much more persistent. He kept trying to convince me that love at first sight is a true phenomenon and I should just embrace it... and him. He showed me a bunch of licenses to prove that he is a British and of the same age as me. Then he kept begging me to take him back to my hotel.

Bah.


Three Days In Kunming

I flew on to Kunming the next morning for a three day trade show.

Two words sums up Kunming: Cold. Boring.

The only thing exciting about Kunming was dodging flying spittle and chancing upon women who pee in toilet cubicles without closing their doors.

When I saw a woman squatting over a pan peeing and her door was swung wide open, I was too shocked to tear my eyes away from you-know-where. And she was in a business suit.

The only decent pub we found near our hotel was this place called Zhong He Hui, which means Zhong He Club. It has a neoclassical decor and red walls. Its wine collection is also pretty impressive.

But their live music leaves much to be desired.

From 9.30pm to 10pm, a young local girl sings popular English songs in a deep husky voice. Not bad.

From 10pm to 10.30pm, two men play a sort of bossanova. Average.

From 10.30pm to 11pm, a man sings old Chinese songs, some of them I've never heard of. Still bearable with the help of alcohol.

But things can only get worse. From 11pm to 11.30pm, a frizzy haired petit woman in a tight cheongsum would croon Chinese tunes in a high-pitched voice, which is the trademark of China. I felt transported into a cabaret.

Despite all that, Kat and I went there EVERY NIGHT three days straight. And their songs are often repeated, although in different sequence. So why oh why do we torture ourselves such? Because beggers can't be choosers. There was no where else we could walk to and get decent wine.


However, there was one thing I do like about Kunming - their style of cooking. Everything is fried with dried red chilli and fiery chilli oil! Whoop! I love!!! It helps to warm me up when the temperature hits 10deg. I love the way it numbs my lips. Hehe.

Kunming is famed for a noodle dish called Guo Qiao Mi Xian, which means "cross the bridge noodles". The story goes, that a woman wanted to make sure that her tired husband would be able to enjoy a hot dinner once he returns home. As he worked as a labourer, he would often get home too late and dinner would be cold. So the woman devised a way to keep the soup stock hot with a thick layer of oil on top.

Why "cross the bridge"? I can only guess that the man had to cross a bridge to get home.

So the noodle dish is super oily. And I would make it even oilier by chucking in LOADS of black bean chilli oil, sesame oil and whatever fragrant chilli oil I could get my hands on. Super!

The second delicacy I love is the mushroom hotpot, in which you dump in a wild variety of mushrooms. Some of the mushrooms are poisonous even and they must be thoroughly cooked, otherwise you will get nausea, headaches and body aches. To make sure your mushrooms are properly cooked, a staff will help you to cook. Nice.


Of course there is spice! A delightful mix of garlic paste, chopped onions, chives and a lovely dallop of chilli paste. Add in the tasty soup into the mix and voila - a fab remedy for the chilling weather.

It was so good, we had this for lunch two days straight.

That's all about Kunming.

Back to Hong Kong
I headed back to Hong Kong on 3 November afternoon for more shopping and food.

Much to my delight, I spotted this shop right opposite Times Square in Causeway Bay. I have been searching for fancy boxing gloves online for some time and fell in love with a particular pink pair with a red dragon. It was already SGD$80, excluding shipment. So I was incredibly happy when I found the very pair I like in this shop for only SGD$78.


And I also bought this pair for Joshie baby. Hehe. Now we can punch each other to sleep.


I also bought a dress and a very cute pink sweater with a furry hood from Bauhaus. Hong Kong has an impressive fashion spread. Even the average man and woman on the street in Causeway Bay is immaculately dressed from head to toe. But fashion shopping there is expensive. My dress cost me S$180 and the sweater S$150. Way too expensive, but I could never find these designs and quality of workmanship in Singapore - so I just have to get it!

It's a sodding pity I did not have time to pop by H&M.

And yes, what is a trip to Hong Kong without gorging on desserts? I had four desserts in a single sitting. I am mad, I know.


My sins from the top: Sweet Steamed Egg, Sweet Potato Soup, Mango and Pomelo Juice, and Sweet Cashew Nut Paste.

Ahh, divine!

And to sum up this post, feast on these Krispy Kremes. Muhahaha!