Josh's Brother Goes Missing

Monique's pregnant bump is starting to show a little. She lamented that all her bottoms could no longer fit after she returned from her holiday in Taipei.

Geez! Girl, you were only away for one week, could your baby grow so much within a week? Owe up now... it was all those oily Taiwan sausages you have been gnawing at hur?

Anyway, I figured I could loan her some of my clothes to wear for the first two months of her pregnancy. Monique is petit by nature. I am... well, big-boned by nature. I'm sure she could fit into my Size 10 outfits. Anyway I have blossomed into a Size 12 ever since I joined this magazine company, so I won't be missing those clothes.

Damn the good life, people!

So now, she has a bunch of capris, shorts and skirts from Mango, Topshop and GG>5. She is so lucky to have a big-boned relative. She can save her money for now and move on to full blown maternity wear after she hits third month or so.

Dang. If I ever get preggie, I would have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe! Or prance around in a bikini top and a sarong round my swollen tums to save money and beat the bloody Singapore heat.

Monique has been coming home quite frequently for dinner ever since she's pregnant. Her presence made Josh and I realise we have not seen his big brother for the longest time. They have stopped coming home on the weekends for lunch.

I joked that maybe his snotty wife, Moley Moley, had locked him in since she never seem very happy to come visit the in-laws. She's always too eager to eat and go, leaving little time for their son to play with his grandparents (my in-laws, that is). And she would always look as grim as someone who has a banana shoved up her arse whenever her son enters our bedroom to play with us.

So Josh queried his mom about the missing big brother this evening. And her reply was completely off: "Every time brother comes home for lunch, you are sleeping. You don't even talk to him. You have only one brother, you know!"

Hur? How does that relate to big brother going MIA?

Does it mean that big brother decides not to come home to see his parents anymore because Josh is always sleeping past lunch time?

Or does it mean that big brother is more interested to see Josh than his parents?

Anyway Josh's big brother is really in a league of his own. Every time we see him, he would tell us how keeping late nights, smoking and drinking causes liver diseases. He would always remind us not to have more than one serving of wine or beer at any one time, as it will cause severe intoxication.

OK, I'm sure he have good intentions. But if this is all Josh and his big brother talks about, I say, it is horribly boring! I can't blame Josh for preferring to sleep through lunch than to endure a session of preaching.

For me, I would rather sleep right through lunch time than come face-to-face with Moley Moley and her eternal frown. Moley Moley still regards me like an invisible being anyway, so it makes no difference whether I catch up with her or not.

Seeing her makes me wanna wipe her mouth hard and try to remove that mole from her upper lip.

And I still strongly believe that Josh's big brother is bound and gagged somewhere in his house and kept under lock and key at Moley Moley's mercy.