Another Family Meal

Josh's third aunt and Cousin Jan is in town. Third aunt has moved to Kazakhstan with her husband who was posted there for work, while Cousin Jan has been living in Chicago for so long. Their presence is so rare that we just had to call for a reunion lunch.

Since third aunt is a vegan, we had a vegetarian buffet lunch. It left me craving madly for beef carpaccio and Lebanese lamb chops.

Anyway, I can't escape the face of the detestable moley-moley sister-in-law at family get-togethers. So I chose to keep interaction minimal. In fact, I took it that she is invisible.

For the benefit of those who did not know, Moley-moley is the wife of Josh's eldest bro and she often ignored my presence and refused to return my greetings. After offering humble greetings on our first few visits and receiving no response, I realised that she is either blind, deaf and mute, or she likes me as much as Bush does Osama. Eventually, I decided to save my sunshine smiles for people who appreciate them.

Today, I realised that her son, Ethan, has progressed to her level of selective sociability. Ethan recognises and interacts with only Monique and Rick. Ethan offers only a nugget of attention to his grandparents (ie, Josh's parents). And to Josh and I, Ethan treats as us complete strangers.

I bet Moley-moley puts Ethan under intensive re-educationing at home, probably involving placards like this:

I suppose Josh and I, with our uncensored language and tattoos, are just too dangerous for their preciousssss.

Ethan is so over-protected. He cannot shout or raise his voice in a conversation, he cannot blow saliva bubbles, he cannot slap the table in excitement, and he cannot put his fingers in his mouth. He cannot watch car races, rough sport matches and cartoons that are violent - The Incredibles is an example of violent cartoons.

For fuck's sake! He's only four!

The kid is now quite insane - he cried when Nemo got captured and when the penguin in Happy Feet got into trouble.

"He was so traumatised," explained Josh's elder bro.

A relative who was listening to this conversation offered, "Oh, Ethan is a Sensitive New Age Boy. Ho ho ho."

Yeah. A wimp, you mean?

The kid is going to be so repressed, he will go bonkers once he savours the first taste of freedom. He may end up getting more tattoos than me, smoke pot, sleep with ten women a day and pursue the life of a hippie one day! Whoot!

I had a fine time sneaking in bad teachings to the kid while his parents were not paying attention. He needs to roughen up a bit to be a man! So when I caught him sucking on his fingers, I said, "Hey, does that taste nice? You should try sticking your feet into your mouth the next time. They taste really great!"

Oh boy, what would I give to see Moley-moley's expression when she catches Ethan sucking on his feet!