Well, to be exact, I'm back from Turi Beach Resort because that was where I spent all my time in Batam. The resort was a distance from town, and I was told the town mall wasn't worth the trek there, so the husband and I decided to just stay put.
Before I start telling you about Turi Beach Resort, I must share with you my encounter with the fastest immigration officer in the world. He mans the customs booth at Nongsapura Ferry Terminal in Batam.
Boy, was he so fast, he took 50 fucking minutes to process 10 people ahead of the husband and me. I could not believe his speed. That man truly took his own sweet time, occasionally taking his eyes off the passport he was checking to see who else was alighting from the ferries or checking out the people in the queue.
Now, let's talk about the resort. I must congratulate Turi Beach Resort's marketing team. It did such a wonderful job in the creation of the resort's website, which featured such lovely photos of the resort's guestrooms and facilities. Those images completely seduced me.
Alas, the proof of the pudding lies in its eating.
Sure, the resort's landscape was pretty, especially that of its new Tirta wing. I loved the contrasting white walls and dark timber, all surrounded by lush greenery.
Even the walkway connecting the resort's lobby and the Tirta wing looked sort of edgy.
But when I saw the room, my heart sank. For S$480 for two nights at Turi Beach Resort, I would expect it to be pretty on par with the gorgeous The Majestic, Malacca, which I had paid less than S$200 per night.
I was so disappointed that I did not even bother to take any photos of it. The first thing that crossed my mind was, "I need to get out of this room." So I changed into my bikini and headed to the pool, which, to me, is the resort's saving grace.
Now, the room was not filthy, nor was it in ruins. It was neat and bright, although the table lamp and bathroom tiles were stained and edges of the bathroom door showed wear and tear. The room was just not worth the price tag.
Furthermore, a red lantern hung over the balcony, casting an eerie red glow to every room after the sun sets. I tried to laugh it off, saying that the red light made every room looked like brothels. But really, I could not bear to step out of the room alone after dark.
We took time to visit the in-house spa. A 90-minute traditional Indonesian rub-down costs S$68++ per person. I thought it was priced pretty OK for a resort's spa. But the masseuses really need to polish up their service. Often, after the massage comes to an end, the masseuse would gently wake the customer and exit the room quietly, leaving the customer to get up and dress up at her/his own pace.
Not these two. Mine stood in front of me, as I sat up and stretched my sleeping muscles. I don't like being watched that way when I'm naked, so I hurried off the massage bed. They also hung around in the room, while the husband and I put on our clothes in the adjoining bathroom. Really strange.
That said, the massage was alright and thankfully, my masseuse did not try to knead me to death or pluck out my hair.
Still on the topic of service, the staff's attention span is almost non-existent. I had to ask at least twice for everything I wanted, even if the restaurant had only two or three other couples dining at the same time. Simple requests like "more water please?" or "can I have an ashtray?" went unanswered the first time and took a long time to be fulfilled after reminders were made.
I observed with incredulity how a staff walked away from a diner halfway through taking orders, to another diner at the next table to answer the latter's call.
On Tuesday morning, the waiter, who was laying out the cutlery for my breakfast, stopped midway and walked away to chat to a customer who had just stepped in with his family. And I already had my food in front of me.
Then there was the Coke incident. I ordered Coke at Taming Sari Cafe on Monday afternoon and was served from a can. I placed the same order that evening and was served a glass of coke with way too much ice. Both orders cost the same by the way. So I asked the staff why. He looked at me with such huge eyes and exhaled in great surprise, "No can; glass!" as if I have been hallucinating about being served a can of Coke instead of a glass.
Never mind. I can afford to pay S$4.50 for a glass of ice with a splash of Coke.
Still, I very much prefer to spend my money on Bintang beer, as it brought back sweeter memories of Bali and I am guaranteed a bloody can of it, instead of a glass filled with ice.
I'm not done with my encounters with the resort's service staff. One night, the husband wanted a drink from the minibar, but found the fridge faulty and the drinks in there were not chilled. So he called room service for some ice. The staff asked him why he needed ice. The impossibly patient husband took great pains to explain to the staff in English and a smattering of Malay that the fridge was faulty, the drinks were warm and he needed a cold drink.
The staff replied, "OK. Wait, I check."
Check what, really? We just wanted some ice! Anyway, we waited and waited. And after 20 minutes or so, our phone rang. I bet the service staff called for an emergency meeting to dissect the husband's request for ice and to determine the next course of action! Another staff informed the husband that it was too late to replace our faulty fridge, so could we please bear with it till tomorrow morning.
The husband explained again that all he wanted was some ice. This time, the message sank in and the ice came like this, in an uber chic green plastic bag...
I just had to laugh, although I bet the general manager, if he knew about this, would find this hardly amusing.
The husband told me frankly, that if I had visited Turi Beach Resort in my capacity as the editor of my magazine, I would not have the privilege of experiencing these slip-ups.
Beyond the quality of service staff, I was also disappointed with the resort's F&B options. There were supposed to be three restaurants - Cinta Manis Indonesian restaurant, Nogusaya teppanyaki restaurant and Taming Sari Cafe.
Cinta Manis had closed down, I was told, leaving the Taming Sari Cafe to serve a mix of Indonesian, Western and Chinese cuisine. So we had lunch there on Sunday and for dinner, we participated in the resort's fusion BBQ party, which was held in an open space, among the trees.
And because Nogusaya is closed on Mondays, we sought all three meals at Taming Sari Cafe. It was boring. I've never ever felt so unenthusiastic about meal times while on holiday! :(
I would accept a resort with unexciting rooms and dining options only if there were plenty of activities, attractions and dining experiences outside of the resort. Like in Kuta, Bali. But here, at Turi Beach Resort, where the nearest town and shopping mall is some 40 minutes away and the ride out costs S$8 per person, I would rather stay inside. So it is even more important that dining experiences at Turi Beach Resort be above average.
Sadly, not only were there limited restaurant options, the food tasted average.
I feel really sad for the resort's general manager, whom I think is truly committed to making the product better. Why? Because when I go on Tripadvisor and read all those negative feedback on the resort's software and hardware, I would find his written acknowledgment for every comment and promise to make things better.
Having said all that, there were still some gems at the resort.
For instance, I loved the pool. It was where we spent most of our time, so much so, the both of us are quite burnt now. I also loved how lounge music and the occasional jazz piped through the air at the pool.
I also loved the numerous hammocks that were put up along the edge of the resort, near the beach. It was a great spot to nap away the afternoon.
I also loved how every room looked out the to sea and in the direction of the sunrise, allowing Mother Nature to work her magic for free for all resort guests.
I wouldn't say the vacation was a wasted one. The husband and I had many fine moments together. But it could have been a lot better and we could not help but think the same amount of money could have bought us a more enjoyable and luxurious time in Malacca.
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