- Novelist and Anglican clergyman, Laurence Sterne
My dim sum brunch at Peach Garden Chinese Restaurant at Orchid Country Club was rudely interrupted by a man's rebuke, "Hey! What about these water bottles?! Are you blind or do you want me to pack them for you?"
I looked up to see where that came from, and saw a large-set Chinese man, seated at the table with his family, staring daggers at his diminutive domestic helper who was half-way across the restaurant. She had left with her female employer - the wife of the man who had shouted after her. She turned around sheepishly and returned to the table to get the forgotten water bottles. And as she approached her angry employer, he scolded some more, "Do you expect me to do your work for you, you stupid woman?"
By the smug look on his face, he probably thought his public display of anger towards his domestic helper was something to be proud of, something that was a right bestowed upon him since he pays her a monthly salary, even if that salary was a meagre amount. So the poor girl - in all senses of the word 'poor' - has no dignity during her employment here.
His public display of anger and obvious lack of respect for his domestic helper reflected his lack of manners. His aged parents sat stone-faced next to him, and when I looked at them, I could not help but see them as people who had failed to raise their child with manners.
Is the domestic helper not someone else's child too? How would her parents feel if they knew she was insulted like that?
Furthermore, if her employer could scream at her like that in public, what more could he do to her within the walls of his house?
The rude man reminded me of my nutcase brother-in-law, who once shouted (in a shrill voice like a crazy woman, no less) at his domestic helper, "Do you want to die?" when she did not respond immediately to his order to help search for a lost S$50 note. And the reason why she could not respond right way was because she was doing the dishes and had to rinse off soap before she could attend to him.
Then there was also my mother-in-law, who, no doubt was poisoned by the nutcase, kept scolding the domestic helper for being lazy during the few months when his family moved in temporarily with us. That angered me so much that I told her to stop insulting the girl. In those few months of interaction with the girl, I've not seen her idle. She was almost always on the ladder, cleaning the ceiling fans every morning when I woke up for work. In the evening, she would be scrubbing the bathrooms or looking for some laundry to do or iron. Some days when the nutcase and his wife were not at home, I'd tell her to rest and watch some TV or listen to the radio, and she'd instead ask me if she could help me iron my clothes or clean my bedroom.
Domestic helpers are human too, not robots that can go on and on 24/7. Must a domestic helper perform some chore every waking moment in order to be seen as hardworking? Surely there are laws here that determine the maximum number of hours a domestic helper is required to work?
Domestic helpers are not slaves!
Sometimes I feel that Singaporeans are not ready to be employers of domestic helpers. Perhaps my view is very unfair, as surely there must be fair employers around, but I cannot be faulted for thinking this way. Online media are flushed with too many photos of employers making their domestic helpers stand by the table while they dine in restaurants, and with news of employers (and these are educated people!) abusing their domestic helpers. Too often I've seen tiny domestic helpers treated like mules, hauling several large bags behind their care-free employers.
Then there are also stories I've heard, of how some employers allow their domestic helpers to only eat instant noodles or leftovers.
Having said all that, one must not deny the fact that there are also domestic helpers in Singapore who abuse their employers, by being violent with the family's young children or elderly members, or spicing up the family's cuisine with dubious ingredients, such as poop.
With so much hullabaloo over domestic helpers, why not ban the practice of live-in domestic helpers altogether? Employers with an evil seed in their hearts will less likely see these by-the-hour helpers as their property, and with reduced interaction comes reduced animosity, so helpers will less likely want to take revenge on the employer.
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